Where's the Communication??

So all this wedding stuff happening so quickly it has everyone stressing out. The lack of communication going on definitely isn't helping. I have always felt the communication with Colby's family was not great especially when it came to keeping us informed. I think it may be worse right now. The main problem we have is that we live so far away and can never get a hold of anyone. They don't answer questions and then the people we do get a hold of eventually don't always have the right information or any answers at all. We have offered to help with whatever is needed but no one tells us if they actually want us to do anything. Today I actually talked to the bride and she made a comment about me offering to do the programs but never actually said if she wanted me to do them or not. I'm just going to have to try again.

The huge communication problem we are having is with the attire and who is actually doing what. For example they already planned on Harper being a flower girl, got stuff to make her a dress and a matching clip with her cousin Myra, the other flower girl but didn't ask/tell us until today. This only happened after Colby was taking to Myra's mom and made a comment about how we were just assuming Harper wasn't in the wedding since we haven't been told anything. Guess its a good thing he was talking to her or else we would of never known until we got there the day before.

That is another thing. We aren't going  to see anyone or be down there until the afternoon before the ceremony. At first Julia had said it would be easier if I/my mom made my bridesmaids dress considering my current situation (a belly and boobs that are pretty much growing everyday and will until I give birth) but now apparently their grandma, who is doing the rest of the dresses, is going to make mine and Harpers dress. I don't like the idea of this since I won't ever get to try it on before I have to wear it and no time to take it in or let it out. I was told his grandma thinks it will be fine if she makes mine because she will just make it bigger where it flairs out so my belly will for sure fit. That concerns me because the measurements I give her would be with how big my belly is right now and it wouldn't necessarily need to be that much bigger (I wouldn't think). I don't want her to make it so big just to have room to grow and then I end up looking just fat and frumpy in this oversized dress. I would prefer to look like a cute pregnant lady.  I would also like to know what it looks like so I know what kind of undergarments I need to wear. Maybe I am just being overly controlling but I would rather have the opportunity to try it on and then adjust it before the wedding ins't of just hoping it fits when I get there. I am not as worried about Harpers dress but again I just don't like the idea of never seeing something that we are suppose to be wearing for such a big event with pictures that will be around for a long long time.

This is really stressing me out and I don't need the extra stress. We are already trying to make it by with just one income and its hard!! We are really feeling the pressure of running out of money right now. That stress on top of all this not knowing crap with the wedding is just almost too much. I'm trying to not worry about either one too much because I know it will all work out eventually its just having the faith while getting there that is hard.

5 weeks…!?!?!

Yesterday, Sunday, Colby and I received some interesting news via text message from his brother, Austin. Austin and his girlfriend had gotten engaged in June and were planning a wedding for next June. Colby talked to him a couple weeks again and they didn't know anything about plans and were considering just going to the courthouse to get married and then having a reception later. Well that is not the case anymore. They will be getting married November 19. Yes this November. Yes, in less then 5 weeks. This also means I will look like a huge pregnant lady in the wedding pictures being a good 8 1/2 months pregnant, 3 weeks from my due date!!

Me being that close to my due date is not really a concern for anyone because they hadn't even really started planning yet and now have to get everything put together in about 5 weeks. I have offered to help but being 6 hours away there is only a limited amount I can do. I am suppose to be helping my mom make my bridesmaid dress. However, we are going to be waiting until the beginning of November to start so we have a better idea of how big my belly and boobs are going to be.

I really hope that everything works out for them and they can get everything down and don't forget anything. Marriage is a huge thing to get into and I really hope they are ready and get everything they want in this wedding and aren't settling just to get it done. I do have concerns about them not being ready to be married like they are still living at home. I hope they can afford to get their own place really soon after the wedding. I really try to just keep my opinions to myself because this is their life and they need to do what they want and they rest of us should just be there to support their decisions. One thing however that Colby and I have been talking about that is Austin needs to figure out and let everyone know what is going on with their mother. She is really only a part of Austin's life so we are pretty sure she will be invited but none of the other boys really care to have her in their lives. One big thing with us is that we didn't tell her about this baby but it will be hard to conceal if she is there. Also he needs to consider that Julia really really dislikes her and can hardly stand to be in the same room as her. This is important to keep in mind since Julia is letting them use a lot of her wedding stuff, is doing a lot to make the wedding happen so quickly and it letting them both live at her house.

This will be a couple of crazy and potentially drama filled weeks ahead of us and I hope everyone involved can remember what this is all for and the true meaning behind the craziness.

A little baby update. He is growing great, my weight is great, not too much or too little, and my blood pressure is nice and low.  He is moving a lot. I can really feel it almost to the point that it hurts a little when he kicks me or just moves around. You can actually see my belly move around when he does. Its kind of creepy but really cool at the same time too. I also have been getting heartburn really bad again with this one. Supposedly this means the baby will be born with hair but we will have to wait and see I guess. The due date is fast approaching, just like the wedding!! Less then 5 weeks till the wedding and less then 8 weeks till my due date. There is a lot to do but the dates won't wait for us to get everything done so we better just be prepared.

Last Weekends of Summer

The last post was right before our trip to Kansas. That trip was not great to say the least.  We were over half way there when we were told, for the first time, that his brother who invited us to come down and stay with them would not be there that night (friday) because they were going back to see Colby's parents and not be back until sometime Saturday. Well that sometime saturday was not until after midnight!! To top that off we found out that his brother had to work Sunday afternoon too. We were so mad that we drove all that way to spend time with him, his girlfriend and our niece who is growing so fast and we don't see very much and then they didn't care to spend hardly anytime with us. It still makes us mad because we feel like we are making this effort to be a part of their lives and be there as our niece grows up and they could care less how often they see us or how our kids/us are doing. Im not sure I can even express how mad we were about this visit but the little time we spent with them (like 4-5 hours less then our driving time one way!!) was really fun and we really enjoyed it.

After that weekend we had something every weekend until this last weekend. We went camping with my family for our annual family reunion. We love going camping and the reunion is always fun. Colby and I had a big fight and a really serious conversation about our relationship. I have always had a problem expressing my emotion and being able to let other people in and Colby is so not like that at all. I think the conversation was good to get things out in the open about how we were both feeling but it was really hard at the same time. Just wish we would of been able to enjoy the weekend since we get to spend very little time together now that he is going to school and working. The weekend did end up being pretty good though

They next week Colby started school, which takes up a lot of time but he really wants to get his bachelors degree so this will be life until May 2013. That weekend was the SD State Fair and Colbys parents came to visit. The plan was for then to leave Saturday morning get here and then go back Sunday afternoon. Well I guess that their plans changed once they got here. They got here spend literally like 8 hours with us and then decided that we would leave Sunday morning when they got up. They were staying at a hotel so that meant when they left the fair that night at like 8 we didn't see then again. It was frustrating because again we invited them to make the effort to have contact and they didn't really care about seeing us for that long. It wasn't even like that had to be back to KS for anything since Monday was labor day and everyone had the day off. But whatever at some point we will only give as much effort as they give and then who knows what will happen or how often we will see each other, maybe once or twice a year. That is just sad that there is the potential for my kids to not really know one set of their grandparents. I know all too well how this goes. The rest of the weekend was good though. I ran into some old friends and got to spend more time with my family. We actually feel like they care about seeing us so it is fun hanging out with them. I love spending time with my nephews.

This last weekend we were finally home for the first time in 3 weeks. We are starting to get everything outside ready for winter, which is coming sooner rather then later. Our garden is still going great but tomorrow night it is suppose to get really cold and we are under a freeze warning. We still have some tomatoes and cucumbers so hopefully it doesn't freeze. So far we have been about to can pickles and salsa and froze some tomato sauce I made.  I am still going to try and can some jalepenos and probably some tomatoes. We will see how much more I can get from the garden. I am looking forward to fall weather but definitely need to switch out some of our wardrobe to get ready for colder weather.

The colder it gets the closer we are to seeing our new baby and Colby being done with his first semester back. Hopefully the class times for next semester work better with his work schedule and maybe some more can be online so he isn't having to go into class. The driving back and forth takes time away from us and it is gas and money too. I already want this semester to be over. I'm also trying to enjoy my time with Harper before the new baby gets here. Our lives are about to change and get crazy!

A family on the Road

Tonight I am trying to get things packed up to go to Manhattan, KS this weekend. Colby and I met there while going to school at Kansas State University. Two of his brothers live there along with our niece and brothers girlfriend/baby momma. They moved into a new house at the beginning of the summer and are having a housewarming party this sunday.  We don't really care much about the party. We mostly want to see everyone, especially our niece. We haven't seen then since June and she has grown a lot and has finally started to crawl. Another thing is no one came up for Harpers birthday and we want them to have a relationship with her and Colby one with his brothers.  The hope is they will see us making an effort to keep a relationship and to just be a part of their lives. Then in return they will show that they care more about us and want to visit us up here too. Only time will tell on that one.

We wont be seeing his parents this weekend because they aren't coming out for the party. I think that is fine because in two weeks they are coming up here to visit and sometimes its nice to just hang out with the older siblings. However, his parents don't always get that. His dad thinks he can be just one of the boys now that they are older and is just trying to be their friend a lot of times. He can really turn the mood weird though, especially for me. Both of them are just weird around me for some reason and don't know what to say to me, which in turn makes me feel weird towards them and I don't know what to say to them. Its a vicious cycle that never seems to end. His step-mom just gets mad if we go to Kansas and don't see them. She doesn't understand that with his brothers living in one town and them in another we can't always make it work to see everyone. But she doesn't see it that way. She can be kind of selfish and when it come to who Colby visits, in her mind it should always be her first and for most but to Colby thats not always the case.

Anyways back to this weekend. I really hope everything turns out good and we have a lot of fun. I like visiting Manhattan. It brings back a lot of memories but it is weird at the same time because where my life was when we decided to leave and where it is now is so completely different. Honestly so are the lives of all his brothers. No one is dating the same person they were back then. One of them has a baby and another one is getting married. Looking back and going back to somewhere with some many memories, good and bad, makes you really evaluate your current life and how far you have come, at least in my case.  I know I haven't come that far in everything like the relationship with Colby's parents. I think it might be worse then before except they aren't as vocal to him about their dislike for me since at this point they can't do anything since we are already married but did they really try to stop that from happening but that is a whole other can of worms that I haven't forgotten but am trying to get past so I won't go into it.

I won't be writing this weekend so Monday I will probably have a report about how the weekend went and our many adventures from this exciting thing I call my life.

Back At It

Haven't been on here for a long time and boy have things changed. First of all my husband tried applying for a ton of police type jobs. He was a finalist for a correction officer job in Jefferson County, KS and felt really confident about it. So we decided we would move to Kansas. I packed almost the entire house!! and we were set to go besides a few minor things...we didn't have a place to live, neither of us had a job down there but hey we were taking a risk doing this and for some reason thought it would be worth it. We were down there for 2 or 3 weeks and based on our time there and the inability of Colby getting a job we decided to stay living in SD.

Another huge change for us that swayed our decision a lot is the we are having another baby.  This wasn't really a surprise to us. We were trying/wanting to have another baby pretty close to Harp. As of now, I am over half way done and working on getting everything ready for our little guy. I rearranged Harp's room and moved around her clothes. We are almost ready just have to wait for the big arrival now.

So now that we are officially staying in SD, probably forever, we are really settling in. Making our house really feel like a home and like an adult/family home. I stay at home and take care of Harp and the house. My husband works nights at a factory in Brookings. We really wanted him on days but he decided to go back to school to pursue his bachelors degree. He will only have about 2 years before he should finish it up so hopefully working and going to school works out for him. Im not a fan of nights but we will see what we can work out with his school schedule and work schedule.

The small garden we planted this year has been doing pretty well we have a lot of tomatoes, cucumbers, peppers, and potatoes. I am going to try my hand at some canning once we have more of one items to actually do it. We will have to see how that goes for me. I'll have to keep you posted since this is my first time trying canning.

That should probably be all for tonight. Little lady is fast asleep and I should head there soon so Im ready for the day when she gets up tomorrow. Our little 1 year old sure has a lot of energy and I just try to keep up. I'm going to try to be better at writing this. Until next time...

Socially acceptable?

Today was my one and only opportunity to see White Christmas, the musical Colby has been playing drums for. Harper has been more fussy then usual lately but had been doing great most of the first act. Towards the beginning of the second act she was crying and I couldn't get her settled down so I took her out into the hallway. I found a bench to sit on, I thought a good distance from the doors, and started to feed her. Then a lady came and asked me to take it in the bathroom. I know some people have a problem or are uncomfortable with women who breastfeed in public but I am very comfortable with it. I have become accustom to it and I always use a blanket over everything. I was not hurting or disturbing anything. I thought it was ridiculous but went into the bathroom anyways. It seemed as though she didn't want me going back into the show. So Harper and I were in the bathroom and she tipped over and bonked her head. She started to cry so I took her into a stall in the bathroom and someone came and shut the door on us! I thought this was crazy. I felt like they were locking us into the bathroom and we couldn't go finish watching the play. I was upset, Colby was even more upset that I had to miss the ending. Apparently the lady apologized to him tonight along with the house manager but no one said anything to me. She told Colby she had me go into the bathroom because patrons had been complaining. But while she was making those patrons happy she seemed to forget that I was a patron too. It really made me not want to go back to any shows there. I have never felt more unwelcome because I had a child in my life.

I am so thankful this is the last night of the play. I am getting sick of being home alone at night! So we are officially into graduation week. I am so excited and so ready to be done with the semester and school all together. I am considering applying for the job of editor of the local paper. It would be only part time but I have heard it was a lot of work. It would be nice to bring in a little money if Colby doesn't get a police job right away. That also means he could keep his current job which would be great since he gets great benefits. I guess we will just have to wait and see. But right now I need to find some motivation to get this semester finished up. Hopefully I can do it!

Don't believe everything you read...

So the snow never came. They are predicting more snow for tomorrow but we will see. It is December already (oh my goodness!) and we haven't really had any snow. I am sure we will be getting some soon and I kind of home we do because it is super cold. If it is going to be this cold, below freezing cold, we should have something to show for it.

So this week has been super crazy. Colby is playing the drums for the theatre production of White Christmas. He has had practice or performances every night since Sunday. It seems like he is never home or at least at the same time I am. I figured out he is home, with me and Harper, for 8 hours a day including the time we are sleeping. He has been going into work at UPS at 3:20 am then goes to the office until I either go to class or start working. I then work while he is at home with Harper. I get home between 3-4:30 pm. He has to be back at the play at 6:30 and gets home from that around 10:30 and goes directly to bed because he to be up again in 4 hours! It is crazy. But after Sunday he will be done with the play. However, the craziness may continue. Since it is peak at UPS he is doing driver helper part of the time and when he doesn't do that he may be working nights along with the morning shift.

With all this craziness, I know December is hear and I can't believe it. Next weekend, the 11th, is graduation (super excited). Then we only have finals week and we are done with school. The next step is for one or both of us to get a full-time job. The weekend after finals weekend is Christmas already. Time is just moving so fast.

So yesterday Harper had her 4 month check-up. She is still not real big but hey that is ok. She is only in the 10th percentile but she is really healthy, happy and developing great. It seems as though her gaining weight is slow going and my losing weight is slow going. I am down 3 ish lbs this week. Which is great, just a little at a time. I am not working out as much as I should/could be but I am trying to work on that. I am really trying to watch my portion sizes and eating healthier but it takes a conscious effort on my part to do it but I really want to do it. I want to fit in my clothes. I want to look good. I want to be down before I get pregnant again. Colby is trying to help me. Some days are better then others but I know he wants me to be happy. I know he thinks I'm beautiful right now but I want to be able to look at a picture of myself and feel the same way. I am working on it though and I have a beautiful baby to show for it and I couldn't be happier about that.

Well life continues to be an adventure so stay tuned.